


Not A Pawn

by synia



Category: Grimm (TV)
Genre: Character Study, Gen, Headcanon
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-12-26
Updated: 2013-12-26
Packaged: 2018-01-06 05:29:42
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 576
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1102973
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/synia/pseuds/synia
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>He is seventeen when he realizes he can be a pawn in someone else's game or stand up and play for himself. All the pieces on the board already have a place and he's just a rebellious pawn who's become a new piece of his own.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Not A Pawn

**Author's Note:**

> Written for the Christmas Gift Challenge at grimm-challenges as a gift to bm_shipper.

He is six years old the first time he realizes he's different. It's nothing too obvious, just a number of little things. He is not allowed to see his father whenever he wants like other kids. He is not allowed to talk about him or ask him for anything. His brother – _half-brother_ mutters a voice in his head – doesn't play with him. He's asked to step back, be silent. His mother looks at him and there's something in her eyes, an emotion he doesn't have a name for yet.

He is ten years old the first time he realizes somebody's trying to kill him. It's hard to miss, really. He knew the man who took him from school and thought it would be safe to go with him. He believed him when he said his mother sent him. But when he's thrown in a dark room alone it becomes pretty obvious that something is wrong. He hears noises, crashes and screaming. He spots the blood on the carpet when his mother frees him, but doesn't ask where whoever shed it is.

He is thirteen years old when he experiences his first Woge. His mother is not surprised. Together they are forced to leave Vienna. He watches her grab an already made bag from a closet. She gives him clothes to wear and dresses herself quickly. They are comfortable and anonymous. The ease with which she moves, makes the right phone calls, knows what time is best to leave and what route will be safer speaks of practice. He wonders how many times she has done this already and if she had to do it while carrying him as an infant, too.

He is seventeen when he realizes he can be a pawn in someone else's game or stand up and play for himself. All the pieces on the board already have a place and he's just a rebellious pawn who's become a new piece of his own. He doesn't have a place where he fits in, but he also doesn't play by anyone else's rules. He builds his own place and makes his own rules day after day. In Portland he feels like he has his own chessboard where he's moving all the pieces. At least until Marie Kessler kills his mother.

Marie doesn't know who his mother is or what her ties are, but he wants revenge nonetheless. At least until he learns of her nephew. That is when he sees an opportunity. He doesn't know if Nick Burkhardt will ever be a Grimm but he keeps an eye on him. He makes sure he's assigned to his precinct and waits. When Marie comes to warn him, that is when he strikes.

As it turns out Nick is a chess piece of his own, too, and that is something that surprises him. They lie to each other for a long time and he would laugh if he could at all the unsaid things he knows Nick leaves out. He can't because it isn't funny. Nick comes to deserve his respect and that makes it harder to try and manipulate him. It becomes less about revenge and power. He finds himself yearning for a true ally, rather than a piece to use in his game.

When Nick finally confronts him the board is shaken but they're both left standing on the same side. Two rebellious pawns that turned into the most dangerous pieces in the game.


End file.
